Friday, September 23

Happy Birthday Jakob

Today is my son Jakob's birthday. He would have been six today. Jakob was born still on September 23, 1999. I was 41 weeks pregnant and his umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck the night before I went into labor. I went to the hospital and they could not find his heartbeat so they did an ultrasound and found out that his heart had stopped beating. I went through a regular labor and delivery and my son was born at 2:04 am six years ago today. My son was perfect he weighed 9lbs 6.5 ozs he was 22 inches long with white blonde hair. We held our son, took pictures with him, had him baptized, and then my husband sang him the song Wild Frontier by Faith Hill. It seems that as the years go by I learn to cope and deal on a new level. This year I went to the cemetery and put out fresh flowers and cleaned up. Said a prayer, asked my grandparents to make sure to sing my baby Happy Birthday in Heaven. I am usually pretty private with my day today, but for some reason I felt the need to write about this today so I am.


Blogger Northern_Girl said...

You are far braver than I - thank you for sharing your strength.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Christi said...

A warm cyber hug from both myself and Michele

12:10 PM  
Blogger Oreo said...

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. Here I was thinking I was going to cheer you up.....Truly truly sorry. I'm saying a prayer for you right now.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i knew someone that went through the same type of experience as you, i never realized it was necessary to actually deliver the baby, i guess i had never really thought how it would come out. she didn't get to hold it though, or have pictures, i think it is something she wished she had done. so i'm going to wish you a happy birthday to your son, he's not here with you, but he's still very much a part of your heart.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Happy birthday to your dearest angel Jakob.

I couldn't help but cry for you when I read that. Even though I have known you for 5 years, hearing my friend tell that story pulled at my heart.

Jakob is a special angel looking down on his fantastic Mother and Father, 2 sisters and brother, awaiting the day he sees you again.

God bless him and your family.

6:35 PM  
Anonymous E said...

What a wonderful day to honor him and the part he plays in your life. I'm thinking of you...thanks for sharing that.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Beanhead said...

Thanks everyone! It was a rough morning and posting this made me feel so much better!!

Mimi I luv ya girl!

7:53 PM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I love ya Bean! And I'll never forget the day you told me about Jakob. (hugs!)

10:03 PM  
Blogger Mama M said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful, heartfelt birthday note - it is a brave and amazing thing to do after such an experience. Happy birthday to Jakob. I'm sending hugs, and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

10:56 PM  
Blogger TC said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog!

You are in my thoughts and prayers at this hard time. Thanks for sharing that with us.

6:48 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing this part of you with everyone. I'm saying a prayer for you and your family.

7:08 AM  
Blogger sophie said...

Thanks for sharing such private thoughts. Many cyber hugs headed your way.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Carmi said...

Bless you for sharing this with us. I know he's smiling at you for having the courage to write this.

2:59 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

You are a very brave soul to open up one of your deepest wounds for all of us to see. I'm hoping you are able to find some peace in the telling of your story.

6:24 AM  

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