Saturday, January 21

Do They Deserve it?

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know that in 1999 I lost my son Jakob to what they think was an umbilical cord accident. MY son was born still on September 23, 1999 at 41 weeks gestation. He was perfect just not breathing. My husband and I grieved and prayed for relief from our pain. Just as we were settling into what had become our new idea of life we get a package in the mail. I open the envelope and much to my surprise is my son's death certificate. Now the reason this is a surprise is because I asked about a birth certificate and was told you don't get one!! According to the law my son was never alive. Well in my world never alive meant he could never die, but guess what he did and now I have the official paper with the seal of the state of Florida on it to prove it. I struggled with this nonsense for a long time until I heard about a small but determined group of parents that were getting what was owed to them and their babies "dignity". This group has grown a lot in the past six years and has accomplished many great things in many states but they are still working on getting birth certificates issued for past and future births resulting in still birth in many states. The reason I am typing this post is to hopefully inform more people and in turn those people will visit the missing angels web site and get proactive. If not for me may for the 26,000 thousand families that will receive a death certificate this year for a baby that was in the laws eyes never even born. I did not type this post for pity or for sorrow. So please go over and visit the site and see if there is anything you can do to help out where you live.

16 Comments:

Blogger kenju said...

I will check it out now. I am sorry for your loss. Michele sent me this morning. When I clicked on your name at Michele's, the page that came up said your blog was not found. I had to do a search for it, and I'm glad I did.

8:12 AM  
Blogger luvmykyleigh said...

I am a part of this, too. Head up. I love you.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

How ridiculous...I am sad at the very thought that you would not get a birth certificate, yet still receive a death certificate. I am sad for you and all those other families!
I am checking the link out now..

11:11 AM  
Blogger puremood said...

Hmm... Here, my friend (who had a baby born at 20 something weeks) was told you get a birth cert as long as you passed X amount of weeks in your pregnancy. I can't remember how many weeks it was tho.... I know this because she didn't think her baby would live being only 12 inches and 1lb at 20 something weeks so the hospital was telling them to prepare, etc... she ended up pulling through.

If you don't get a birth cert - looks as if you wouldn't get a death cert, either.

Am sorry for your loss.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Beanhead said...

Puremood some states are different and some are great but mine is one of the ones back in the dark ages that do not allow parents the right to honor their child as alive.

12:29 PM  
Blogger ribbiticus said...

thanks for sharing. i can imagine it was tough telling us about your sorrow. am going over to check it out now.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Mama B said...

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I will definately check out the site. Thank your for sharing. BTW, I was just cruising by and enjoyed reading your blog.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

You are so right what a ridiculous state of affairs.
Here from Michele's this evening.

3:09 PM  
Blogger ~Cathy~ said...

I'll check out the link. That is unbelievable. :(

10:10 PM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I can't belive that after all of this time you got a death certificte in the mail. How can that be without a birth certificate? (hugs)

12:28 AM  
Blogger Alison said...

That sounds soooo ridiculous. The pain of losing a child is enough without the indignities of the system!

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Kat said...

I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I can't begin to comprehend how painful that must have been for you.

I will definitely look into this. How can they give you a death certificate and not a birth certificate?!

11:48 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i had no idea you had lost a child. i'm sure that here, once the baby is deemed to be viable, not sure how many weeks, it is registered.
i'm so sorry for your loss.

8:13 PM  
Blogger WendyWings said...

I am sorry for your loss, we had a 22 week stillbirth and he got a birth certificate and a death certificate. Obviously our laws are different here.
Rebecca on any official forms etc is listed as the 5th of 5 children even though Zac was still born. Our Jacob was legally NOT a stillborn but 2 HOURS later and he would have been. 20 weeks is the cut off here.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

How horrible to send out a death certificate without ever giving a birth certificate. You are right...if you were never born than how do you die. Huge hugs! I've visited the site before and will do so again. Our state is backwards in a LOT of things.

11:52 PM  
Blogger Killired said...

hi, I'm here from michele's and when i go to a new blog, I always try to not post on the first entry... i like to scroll down and read more... of course this caught my eye being a mom of 3... however i have not experienced a loss like you did. i am sorry for what happened to you and i do think that's crazy of them to do.. to me, there is no reason why they couldn't have issued a birth cert.. they could've still stamped their feet whether alive or not!
i will for sure go to that site and check it out! in the mean time, nice to 'meet' you!

8:14 PM  

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